Notes on Food Part II
Have recently realised that in the US they have a completely different way of using their cutlery. They use both knife and fork, they just have a different technique: first cutting up their food into bitesize chunks using both, then putting down the knife, switching the fork to the right hand, and eating the pre-chopped morsels with fork only. It seems to be more time-consuming than the English method, and a bit weird.
What else have I noticed? Toothpaste here frequently comes in wintergreen flavour, which is another word for the worst fucking taste you ever tasted. It makes you want to have green mossy teeth rather than experience the horror of pastey wintergreen ever again.
In America they also have cinnamon bubble gum, fruit lollipops with chocolate in the middle, and an unfeasibly wide range of candy based on peanut butter. They also have sweets that taste like wintergreen. Where is the remotely normal sense of flavour? Why, Americans, when you have sweet, bitter, salt and sour to go for, must you choose ming?
Sigh. I am only this angry when I have just brushed my teeth.
What else have I noticed? Toothpaste here frequently comes in wintergreen flavour, which is another word for the worst fucking taste you ever tasted. It makes you want to have green mossy teeth rather than experience the horror of pastey wintergreen ever again.
In America they also have cinnamon bubble gum, fruit lollipops with chocolate in the middle, and an unfeasibly wide range of candy based on peanut butter. They also have sweets that taste like wintergreen. Where is the remotely normal sense of flavour? Why, Americans, when you have sweet, bitter, salt and sour to go for, must you choose ming?
Sigh. I am only this angry when I have just brushed my teeth.
posted by susie r at 1:54 PM
6 Comments:
P.s. There is also a fifth category of taste called umami, which is a savoury kind of taste represented by parmesan.
Sounds bizzare. I've got a whole, giant bucket of various Hershey's products to be eating: peanut butter cup chocolates, peanut flavoured choccy bars, chocolate bars with peanuts in them... perhaps America is half-squirrel?
P.S. I still say The Worst Toothpaste Flavour... Ever award has to go to the smokers', orange flavoured toothpaste, which combines the taste of eating a sour orange just after brushing your teeth with an aftertaste like an ashtray munching on your tongue.
Well hello there, i thought i would leave you a lil message as i am the only family member who is allowed to read your blog!! I have just printed off your Notes on Food Part 2 to show Diane and Charles who are staying, thought they might be able to provide you with some answers. I remember having a purple skittle and finding it was grape flavour instead of the ever yummy blackcurrant! Anyway enough ramblings, stay happy xx
Ooh, I feel bad about Diane and Charles reading something with an F-word in it.
Hello Ellen love, glad to hear you are exercising your family privileges. Mum is so annoyed that she isn't allowed to read my blog.
What are you up to at the moment?
Oh, and grape flavour is another weird American thing. It tastes unusually different and is as ubiquitous as peanut butter flavour. I bet they even eat them together, like a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich. Ewwww...
I generally find grape flavored food items to be disgusting (except Dimatapp grape cough syrup... mmm), and I was delighted that the Skittles and antacids and juices and more came in delicious blackcurrant in England.
However, out of pride and pure American dignity I must stand up for our love and devotion to peanut butter. It has everything a body needs: protein, sugar, and that wonderful paste-like consistency that goes swell with milk. It's irresistable. You haven't lived until you've had a chocolate-peanut butter milkshake. Or better yet, a toasted peanut butter/banana/honey/raisin sandwich. Unnnghghh, that's good.
Is it?! That's interesting. Does that mean that using cutlery the English way is considered impolite? Have I committed a heinous social faux pas every meal time since I've been here? I might start eating only food you can eat with both hands. Like Elvis did.
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